Fwurg

[Miranda Asillion]

The purgatory bar was crowded as usual. It seemed the war didn't even exist, or maybe people where coming here to forget the war for a moment.

The people on the dance floor moved with the loud beat of the music.

On the other side of the dance floor there was a large bar. One of the barstools was occupied by a tall Astrian woman, Miranda Asillion.

It was her first night off after a month of being on call for the hospital and she was going to enjoy it as much as she could.

In front of her was a neat row of upside down empty shot glasses. She downed another one in one swig and placed with the rest, still in a perfect straight line.

The line now counted seven glasses as Miranda signalled the bartender for another.

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

A veolian man sat down on the barstool next to her. The man was wearing white trousers, white shoes, and white armless vest.

"Barkeep, I'll have a sarlacc kicker", he said in a joyful voice.

Then he turned towards the woman next to him. "Hi, my name is Sardan", he looked at the row of glasses, "I don't want to step on your toes, but if you want to get drunk fast, there are easier ways."

[Miranda Asillion]

Miranda cast a sidewards glance to see who spoke to her. Her eyes scanned the veolian man from head to toe. Judging from the look on her face she wasn't impressed.

"Who says I'm trying to get drunk?" She asked as she downed another glass and added it to the row.

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

"Well. To be honest, I am not sure whether your actual goal is to get drunk."

The barkeep handed the man his glass, in return the veolian man handed the barkeep a blueish semi-translucent credit-card.

"But based on the number of shot-glasses on the table, the average alcohol content of a shot, and the estimation that there is an eighty percent chance that -- based on your appearance -- you are a member of the human or a near near-human species and therefore have their usually tolerance for alcohol, I would say that your behaviour is indicative for an individual that wants to get drunk."

He smiled, and took a sip.

"Of course I could be wrong."

[Fecta Legin]

A teprogrenus walked in the bar, he walked to the bartender when his eye was caught by Sardan. He walked to him and gave the veolian man a pet on the shoulder: "Dewa Niskhor Sardan, I didn't expected to see you here."

Then he looked at the woman: "I am Legin."

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

"Legin?", the veolian man replied. "I must apologize, I hadn't recognized you. It is good to see you again."

"I would introduce you, but she has not yet deemed me worthy to know her name", he smiled at the woman.

[Miranda Asillion]

Miranda looked over her shoulder to see who the new person was. Though she still looked uninterested, her eyes paused at Legin's cybernetics for a short moment.

She then turned back around and knocked back another drink, adding the glass to the row. Then she sighed.

"Miranda..." She said, not really having a reason to hide her name.

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

"Ah."

"In that case, Miranda, allow me to introduce Fecta Legin. He is one of the most respected philosophers of the Teprogrenian Consensus, and has participated in the Intergalactic Discussion on Life."

"Fecta Legin, this is Miranda. She is capable of drinking nine shots in a row, and not showing anything of it."

[Miranda Asillion]

Miranda raised her tenth shot to Legin before downing it and adding it to the row.

[Fecta Legin]

"Miranda, it is a pleasure to meet you. Dewa Nishkor Sardan is one of the most remarkable non-hemet veolians I have ever met. I had indeed a very pleasant discussion with him at the Intergalactic Discussion of Life.

I must say, your skill to set glasses in a row is remarkable."

[Miranda Asillion]

Miranda paused and looked at Legin with a raised eyebrow, not sure what to think of his remark.

"Listen boys, I appreciate the attention but it's my first night off in a month. Philosophy is that last thing I'm interested in talking about."

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

"Very well then. Let's change the topic. Is there anything else that you wish to avoid talking about?"

"By the way, am I correct in the conclusion that those were alcohol-free beverages?"

[Miranda Asillion]

"Correct, it's a trick I learned in college. Ten shots of Sub Zero at the start of the night and you won't have a hangover the next morning."

Miranda explained, as if to demonstrate her point she waved over the bartender.

"Two black daryans and a stellarian triple goddess."

She then cast a sideways glance to Sardan and Legin.

"Care to see if you boys can keep up?" Miranda challenged the two men.

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

"Well... Usually I pace myself a little. And I'd really like to finish my sarlacc kicker first."

He looked at his half-empty glass.

"Then again, it isn't every day that a tall blonde offers me a drink, and dictates the subject.", he said, "But next time, it had better be a white daryan.", he smiled at Miranda.

[Fecta Legin]

"Interesting trick. Did you know that for every glass of alcohol you can also drink a glass of water. The result is no hangover as well, but you have to go to the toilet a lot.

I doubt my stomach is physically large enough to keep up, but I can give it a try."

Then Legin waved to the bartender to order some water.

[Miranda Asillion]

Miranda rolled her eyes, predicting how the evening would progress.

Her drink arrived, a long drink glass a red liquid on top of a white liquid on top of a blue liquid, a single straw standing up straight on the centre.

She grabbed the straw between her thumb and index finger and pulled it out. Suddenly the three different coloured liquids started swirling through each other, never mixing but instead creating a colourful display. Miranda took a sip and kept it in her mouth for a moment before swallowing it. Nodding in approval.

"Well then cheers."

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

Dewa Nishkor Sardan takes the black daryan clearly intended for people with mouths. He takes a sip and holds it up.

"Cheers!"

[Fecta Legin]

Legin also took the black Daryan. He saw that it had no straw, but he came prepared. A small compartment in his upper arm opened, revealing several tools. He took a straw an put it in the glass.

"Cheers."

After which he put the straw in the small tube in front of his helmet.

[Miranda Asillion]

Miranda looked at Legin drinking through a straw and shook her head. It never ceased to amaze her how other species could have spent centuries using and developing cybernetics and the result being either impractical, inconvenient or simply primitive compared to their biological counterpart. When Astrians had created cybernetics that could be used as natural as the original while having much better overall features like being more durable and making tasks easier, in less then a century. Then again she barely knew anything about those so maybe there was more to them than meets the eye.

"Isn't it inconvenient to eat or drink like that? Not to mention uncomfortable."

[Fecta Legin]

"Putting a straw in my mouth, or a straw in my frontal port, it matters little. Besides, drinking trough a straw is much more comfortable than putting my head under water, especially when the water is a bucket of Black Daryan drink. Sweet alcohol drinks tent to be sticky when dried.

Tell me, are you familiar with the Teprogrenaian species?"

[Miranda Asillion]

"Not really, but I know your cybernetics and I can't say I'm impressed by them. But why would you drink alcohol through a straw if you had a mouth?"

[Fecta Legin]

"Ah well, that explains your point of view. You see, Teprogrenaians do not have a ventral mouth like most other species. Our mouths are at the sides, roughly there where your jaw is connected to the skull. A little similar to the mouths of an ithorian, which are also at the sides. Though the comparison doesn't go much further.

The Teprogrenaian mouth is not designed to drink out of a glass, though drinking trough a straw offers no problems at all.

My turn: why do you drink directly trough your mouth, when a straw is so much more convenient?"

[Miranda Asillion]

"You get a better taste of what you're drinking. That and normal body functions are something to be proud of."

[Dewa Nishkor Sardan]

Sardan remained silent, nursing his drink as he listened intently to the conversation between the two others.

[Fecta Legin]

"Mirande, it was Mirande right?" Legin asked, while lying his hand on the shoulder of Miranda in a friendly matter, "Why are you not impressed by our, the Consensus, cybernetics?"