Fix to intro scroll / new text proposal

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Caldoss
Caldoss
Stuiter
Stuiter
Elmer
Elmer
Gerben
Gerben
Fedor
Fedor
Brend
Brend
Mercury
Mercury

Fix to intro scroll / new text proposal

Post Caldoss » Sat Mar 23, 2013 2:09 pm
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Caldoss
 
Please put this in the intro scroll! A conservative change would be version 1, which just removes the spelling errors. Version 2 is my attempt to improve upon the old:

Version 1: this is the old version sans spelling errors:
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

A glimmer of hope in the darkness! After devastating wars threw the galaxy into chaos, many worlds have joined together to form the Union, a new alliance hoping to bring back order.

After several successful battles, security in the sector has been restored and trade is beginning to flourish once again!

But all is not well: dark powers loom on the horizon and internal conflicts grow as the Union expands. Will the fledgeling federation be able stand up to these challenges? Only time can tell....

Version 2: this is the text I propose to replace it

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

THE FREE WORLDS UNION

Centuries of lawlessness and devastating wars are coming to an end, as a glimmer of hope shines in an unruly section of the galaxy. Six planets have come together and formed a FREE WORLDS UNION, a new alliance that stands together to protect a fragile order.

After winning several battles, this UNION has restored security. As other worlds flock to join their galactic federation, trade and commerce are beginning to flourish once again. Senators meet to negotiate new alliances, and powerful corporations corporations expand beyond the confines of their factions' own solar systems.

But all is not well. Tyrants leading vast Empires look from just over the horizon, envious of this region's new-found wealth. As the FREE WORLDS UNION continues to expand, internal conflicts arise and tensions grow. Will their fledgeling federation be able stand up to these challenges? Or will the wars and the chaos return? Only time can tell....
Post Stuiter » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:32 pm
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Stuiter
 
I like option 1 better. It is shorter and simpler. 2 looks crowded.
Post Elmer » Sun Mar 24, 2013 12:51 pm
Elmer
 
I like version two better, it consists more of a story, just like the intros of Star Wars self
Player of the Teprogrenaian Consensus inner world
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Post Gerben » Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:45 pm
Gerben
 
I like option 2 better
Post Fedor » Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:57 pm
Fedor
 
I'd like to see the it as actual scroll text before judging.
Post Brend » Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:01 pm
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Brend
 
I reserve judgement until I have seen both version in full-scrolling display!

(Which I will create 'soon' :P)
Post Brend » Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:45 pm
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Brend
 
Right-o, I put both texts in a test-crawl (I have taken the liberty to add a 'fading logo' to both version to better resemble the film openings):


These crawls do not work in Internet Explorer 9. The plan is to add a fall-back to normal crawl. But these just look so much more spiffy...
Post Brend » Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:47 pm
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Brend
 
I must admit, that after watching both of them, I like the length of text of the first one more than the second one, but I like the evocative content of the second one more than the first one.

Maybe we could rewrite the second one to be a little shorter (or split it up in more paragraphs)?
Post Elmer » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:36 pm
Elmer
 
The text lay-out of the second one is rather ugly. Because of the many long words the spaces are fucked up making the text hard to read. The length is okay in my opinion.

Also: The new text crawl is AWESOME!
Player of the Teprogrenaian Consensus inner world
You need a picture? Pm me ;)
Post Mercury » Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:26 pm
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Mercury
Storyteller
 
Looks great! This was what I intended to do originally but back when I did it, no 3d transformations yet to slant the main text backwards. You did this very awesomely and I'm very impressed!
Post Brend » Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:40 pm
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Brend
 
I can't take credit for the animation itself, unfortunately. This was mostly Craig Buckler at sitepoint.com (for nerds: his demo is brilliant)... I just pushed in the text, and tweaked the display to fit.

I still need to work out some weirdness with word spacing and such.
Post Brend » Sat Jun 15, 2013 8:47 pm
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Brend
 
Currently the tally is:

Option 1: 1 (Stuiter)
Option 2: 2 (Elmer, Gerben)

Anybody else with an opinion out there? If not, I'll be looking into building a new intro page with the text from Option 2. This will happen 'soon' :P

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