Fwurg

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

Nathan stopped before the entrance to the Jedi Temple. He stared at it for a few moments, noting the irony of the wealth and status it displayed. Both not very in line with traditional jedi thinking. Then again he was hardly one to talk.

Entering the temple he headed straight toward the Council chamber. He had contacted Master Leithor beforehand to request an audience with the Jedi Council, which had been granted to him. A few Jedi greeted him on the way their, welcoming him back. He replied courteously. His tread was lighter then it used to be. It was no longer the heavy march he had kept from his military life.

That wasn't all that was different about him though. His presence in the Force was different. It was less turbulent, less like the storm it used to be. It was more like a calm pond now.

Nathan waited outside the Council chamber until he was summoned. He bowed to the Jedi Masters after he entered the chamber.

"Masters, I have returned from my meditation."

((OOC: This topic is open to Jedi Masters only. Either PC or NPC.))

[Shebi Ajava]

Sitting in the traditional semi-circle of chairs, seats and other species-appropriate sitting furniture, the Jedi council looks on as Nathan enters the council chambers.

"Welcome back, padawan Asillion.", is the simple reply by master Shebi.

[Jedi Master Qun Treen]

Master Qun Treen looks on, and awaits the reactions of the other present Jedi Masters..

[Jedi Master Monifa]

Monifa makes a small, polite bow at Nathan as a reply.

[Jedi Master Screetor]

"What have you found in your meditation, Padawan?" the fish-headed Jedi Master inquired

[Master Leithor]

Master Leithor sat quietly in his seat. He was curious to why his pupil wanted to speak to the entire council, but would otherwise remain silent.

[Shebi Ajava]

((OOC: I do not think that Master Leither should be here. I would say that it is a "Do not ST yourself" style conflict of interest for Nathan and Master Leithor to be both here. Being an NPC Master Leithor is in effect a character played by ST Dragonmaster352, and not by Player Dragonmaster352. (This also holds for the implied "teacher-pupil" relation, because that implies continued STing oneself -- unless this was written as a generic statment in that all padawan are pupils of the masters.)))

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

((OOC: That is the only post Master Leithor will make. I already decided that when I made it. I just wanted to show that he is present. As for the the implied "teacher-pupil" relation, I point out you yourself have implied such a thing between Ajava and Master Qun Treen, when she was still a padawan. (At least in my personal interpretation/memory)))

Nathan didn't reply immediately after Master Screetor asked his question, though the masters could sense it wasn't reluctance or hesitation that caused the delay. He was weighing his words.

"A great many things, master." He finally replied to Master Screetor. "About myself and about the Force."

Nathan turned to the whole council.

"I have found knowledge and understanding and have gained insights I previously lacked."

"But while I found answers, these answers have given me new questions."

[Shebi Ajava]

((OOC: Ok, that works. Only being present is logical ^_^ As for the "teacher-pupil" thing you try to point out, you remember wrongly. I have taken care not to have Shebi Ajava and Qun Treen interact, and in no way implied such a relationship. There's two threads where they occur together, both without meaningful interaction. I think you are confusing Qun Treen and Screetor -- Ajava was taught by Screetor.))

Ajava ponders the statements by the padawan before them. It is clear that he has questions he wants answered. Yet without context answering will be difficult.

"Do you want to elaborate on your new understanding of things?"

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

((OOC: Not what I was referring to, but that is not important at this time. I would gladly discuss this with you in more detail, but I suggest we do that elsewhere.))

"I have spent a great deal of time meditating. Letting the Force guide my mind, with varying amounts of success. At one point I think I was shown just how vast the Force is. It was humbling and, admittedly, a little scary, but also inspiring. I came to understand just how intricately the Force is connected to every living thing."

Nathan explained, still speaking very deliberately.

"I have sensed the Force flow through many people all so different from one another, yet they where..., well are, all the same in the Force. Not literally of course, but..."

He paused looking for the right word.

"It's difficult to explain." Was what he settled on, hoping the Jedi Masters would understand.

"I wish to learn more about the Force. This has led me to a question."

There were a moment of hesitation.

"Masters, why do the Jedi only teach the light side of the Force?"

[Jedi Master Monifa]

"An important question, one every padawan encounters on his way to become a jedi." Monifa said.

"With great power comes great responsibility.

What would happen if someone went to abuse this powers?"

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

"With all due respect, Master." Nathan replied. "But is the light side of the Force not also a 'great power'?"

"What if someone would abuse that? And what do you consider abuse?"

[Jedi Master Monifa]

"I was talking about the force, not a specific interpretation of it, Nathan. You ask the right questions. What do you believe the answers are?" Where Monifa emphasizes the 'you', indicating that she was interested in Nathan his personal opinion.

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

"I believe you either trust someone to not abuse the power they have or you do not."

Nathan replied calmly.

"But what abuse is is... difficult. I think it is different for every person. One person may say that abuse would be doing something wrong with that power, while another may say doing something right for the wrong reason is abuse."

He seemed a little nervous.

"I believe that light can exist without the dark, but without either the universe could not exist. I believe this is reflected in the Force. It cannot exist without the dark side or the light side and they cannot exist without each other.

It is because of this that I do not want to learn just one side of the Force."

Nathan took a deep breath, as if to steel himself.

"I wish to learn the dark side. I believe it is important to know both sides to understand the Force."

[Shebi Ajava]

Part of Ajava had been listening to the exchange between the padawan and the master, the other part had been deep in thought about his earlier reply to her question.

She looks at Nathan with a friendly expression.

"Padawan, the term "dark side" you refer to has many different meanings to different people. The way you speak about it here, I get the idea that you see the Force as composed of two components: the light and the dark.

If this is so, do you feel that this also means that the myriad of ways the Force expresses itself through living beings is always shaded in either the light or the dark? Would this mean that some beings are light, and some beings are dark?"

She looks at him with a curious glance.

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

"No, that's not what I think." Nathan replied, relieved he wasn't immediately faced with outrage or dismissal.

"I believe every person is both light and dark, though the amounts of each can vary. Ideally these amounts are as close to equal as possible. The more one sways to one side of the spectrum, the more problems arise."

He paused a moment.

"The Force is both light and dark. Emotion and peace. Ignorance and knowledge. Passion and serenity. Chaos and harmony. Death and life.

At least, that's what I have come to believe."

[Shebi Ajava]

Ajava thought for a moment before replying.

"Seeing how the Jedi teach peaceful techniques, and encourage serenity and harmony. It is clear to see that the Jedi are overwhelmingly, exclusively even, focussed on the light. Would you characterize this council as problematic then?"

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

Nathan took a moment to think about his answer.

"I think so, yes. This council has employed practices that I simply cannot approve. It has failed to recognise problems or worse, it has knowingly ignored those problems.

I'm not naive. I know full well that sometimes you need to do the wrong thing for the right reason. But if the hypocrisy within the Jedi continues to remain unnoticed, then it is only a matter of time before the Jedi start defining themselves as right by default. Which is very dangerous."

[Shebi Ajava]

"A bold statement."

Ajava replied calmly, and with a friendly expression.

"I think it would be best that you elaborate on what you see as problems that have not been recognized, or that have been ignored."

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

Nathan remained calm as he spoke.

"Children are being taught how to kill. Jedi not being held accountable for their actions. The hypocrisy of teaching selflessness and humility, while displaying great wealth and status."

He waited for a moment.

"These are some of the issues I have seen. These go against the very things we are taught as Jedi. If we can't even follow our own rules, how can we expect others to follow theirs?"

[Shebi Ajava]

"Padawan, I suggest you explicitly describe the problems you reference."

"You cite abstract problems, but in doing so have left out the circumstances which can be crucial to understanding the problems. In describing who, where and what was involved, we can review these problems openly instead of guessing what problems you are referring to."

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

"I'm talking about more general problems, Master. Not specific events or situations." Nathan responded. "I know full well that it is difficult to think about consequences when people are trying to kill you. But we're Jedi, we're supposed to be the best in the galaxy. If that is really the case, then we should be held to a higher standard."

"Take your own padawan for example. A thirteen year old child sent into direct combat? I've seen child-soldiers first hand," the cyborg visibly tightened, "to my shame, I must admit I've even killed a few. But more importantly I've seen what it did to these children. They were... broken."

He relaxed again.

"If the Jedi are supposed to be a force for good and peace, then why do we use child-soldiers?"

"We're allowed to kill, whenever it suits our needs. Even it isn't necessary. I have been reprimanded once, for killing someone I didn't need to kill. I was reprimanded by Fjihc'Simab. However, I do not believe I am the only Jedi guilty of such acts. Why wasn't I reprimanded by the Jedi? Why haven't others been?"

"Lastly, we live, train and work in one of the most extravagant buildings on Unity. While at the same time there are homeless people, struggling to get enough food in this very city. Aren't we supposed to help the less fortunate, protect the weak?"

Nathan paused.

"For all the claims Jedi are a force for good, we have some questionable practices. As its leaders, this council is responsible for that. The dishonesty is problematic. To me at least. That is why I wish to learn balance. I've learned about one side of the Force and now I wish to learn about the other. I don't think I can blindly follow the path of the Jedi."

"I'm not asking the Jedi to change. I wish to know if the council is willing to help me walk my own."

[Jedi Master Monifa]

"Peace is a lie" Master Monifa started to quote, "There is only passion"

"Through passion, I gain strength.

Through strength, I gain power.

Through power, I gain victory.

Through victory, my chains are broken.

The Force shall free me.

So is the code of the sith as we know it." She paused a short moment before to continue:

"Even though there are major differences between a dark jedi and a sith, their foundations rest on the same principle: Using the dark side of the force for their own benefit. But when you look at the dark side, you must be careful, for the dark side looks back. It will dominate you, consume you. The grave for more power will only lead to suffering.

That is why we don't teach the dark side of the force. Where the light side is to help another, the dark side only helps oneself.

One must be forgiving to teach to forgive and one must forgive to teach, for making mistakes is part of life and essential to gain knowledge."

[Nathan Miodrass Asillion]

"Master, I do not believe the Force is that black and white. I also don't think helping yourself and helping others are mutually exclusive."

Nathan countered.

"I remember reading about Force-users that used both the dark and light side. From the way they and their actions were described, they didn't seem to be corrupted by the dark side. They represent what I wish to become."

"I'm more than willing to submit to periodic examination by the council to see if I am becoming corrupted by the dark side if that makes any difference. That is if I am allowed to remain with the Jedi while learning the dark side of the Force. I have no intention of becoming a Sith or a Dark Jedi, they don't have balance."

((OOC: For your convenience: the Gray Jedi to which Nathan refers.))

[Shebi Ajava]

((OOC: I like this discussion, and have some interesting replies ready. Though I want to make sure we are OOCly viewing the game world the same way before replying -- otherwise my answers are based on a different understanding of the game world than those of other's, which is very confusing and frustrating for all involved.

Before I reply, I want to ask for some clarifications to make sure that we are OOCly viewing the game world the same way.))